• Charlotte Kotez

The Third child theory



I am a bit of an observer but also a bit of a gold fish and most of the time I don't know what questions to ask so I just listen or end up talking too much just so there's no silence in a conversation (Introvert trying to be extroverted. Monkey with hands over eyes emoji). But something I heard a lot before I became a mother was: 'Moms worry too much with their first child, they faf over every small detail and create stumbling blocks for themselves because you place your child first in everything.' Then they'll also say: But by your third child, you won't leave the dinner early because your child needs to sleep, they'll be ok sleeping on a blanket under the table... or eating a little dirt is good bacteria... or just plain: She'll be 'llright... etc'


It comes down to this... Children are so much tougher than you give them credit for, they don't break that easy. (I really hope not :) )


My point is this. The best advise I gave myself before I had my first baby was for me to treat her like she was my third child.


This absolutely freed me! Freed me to know that I can also look after myself and take that much needed shower while she kicks on a blanket. To know that just because she moans in her sleep, doesn't mean she needs me every 15secs. It gave me the courage to not panic when sickness came over her but stay calm (Yes he can be scary, but you need to sift the information before you panic). This rule made life easier when I was out and about and needed to change the baby's diaper on the back seat or where I knew on certain days I won't be able to make healthy food and will be buying 'Slap chips' for my little one and you know what... It's ok. IT'S A POTATO!


I watched my family and friends with their children, took mental notes of what I thought was clever and discarded reactions I didn't like. I read a lot, threw away the things that would clutter my life and kept the things that would simplify it.


For all the new mommies out there. Life is already so complicated. Don't overthink this. Don't get stuck in your mind about what is the latest research. We had sugar growing up and we are OK!! Don't go and put unnecessary pressure on yourself and know they'll be alright!

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